A dictionary according to the Democrats

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In the 1870s, Gustave Flaubert wrote the Dictionary of Received Ideas. The satirical work was intended to poke fun at the mores of France at the time. Its definitions are absurd, sometimes contradictory and generally hilarious. Recently, it occurred to me that the American left has been working on its own Dictionary of Received Ideas for years.

In some cases words we thought we knew the meaning of all our lives suddenly changed, in others new words appear like little green buds sprouting from the ivy of a tower. But either way, it’s best to know what those words mean now, so we can better understand progressives and understand why they’re always right and others are always wrong.

Below are just a handful of these new definitions, eventually the entire English language will undergo this transformation, but for now these are important terms to understand when Democrats use them.

Women

A woman is any adult person who believes or declares that she is a woman at some time. There is no physical way to describe the unique attributes of women’s bodies. Unless you’re talking about abortion.

Racism

Racism is the fundamental state of society, especially American and Western societies. It was the main factor and driving force behind the development of white society. Examples of racism can be overt, but also unintentional, these examples include but are not limited to cultural appropriation, denial of privilege, and the existence of virtually all statues erected before 1970.

Latinx

Latinx is a term intended to correct the unintended sexism of Hispanics in the way they have referred to themselves for several hundred years. While apparently over 97% of Hispanics do not use the term, and many have never even heard of it, its use in political or academic contexts is a signal that whatever the person using it says must be true. Widely applicable, it can refer to a Dominican man, a Puerto Rican woman (see above) or a Corona.

human life

A human life begins the exact moment a fetus leaves the birth canal. The transformation of a simple cluster of cells into a human life is instantaneous at this moment. No physical or mental characteristic existing before the time of birth confers human life on a subject in utero. This definition of life is specific to humans and does not define the life of any other animal species.

Recession

An economic downturn once defined as two consecutive quarters of negative gross domestic product growth, it is now defined in a more nuanced and broader way, involving a range of parameters that are too complicated for you to understand, but which will never reach the levels of real recession when a Democrat is president.

Insurrection

A violent attempt to disrupt the usual practice of government and law by a group seeking to overthrow said government. This, of course, does not apply to attacks on federal buildings in Portland for which the term “primarily peaceful protest” is best suited.

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Equity

Equity is the perfect state of society in which all resources are distributed exactly equally among all people, male or female (see above), of each demographic group. Any evidence of demographic disparity is evidence of discrimination and must be eradicated at all costs. This includes, but is not limited to, disparities in resources based on race, gender, height, hair color, attractiveness, intelligence, and ear for music.

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These are just a small fraction of the new definitions that are popping up everywhere, and more are coming, we will spend the rest of our lives doing this. But in the end, it will be worth it when everyone has exactly the same amount of everything, even if it’s probably a small and decreasing amount. Oh, happy will we be once all of us – however we identify – are all exactly the same.

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