Remember those old TV commercials about the Maytag repairman, whose machines were so indestructible he was the loneliest guy in town? Kamala Harris is Madame Maytag – DC’s loneliest girl. Last year, Harris was a historical figure who was historically historical. This year she is Robinson Crusoe on Mars.
Last week, Harris contracted COVID — remember that disease that killed 600,000 Americans after Joe Biden vowed to “stop it” — and no one even pretended to care. CNN White House correspondent MJ Lee this week tell us, “Kamala Harris has tested positive for COVID. . . She is not considered a close contact of President Biden. Why would like to will she be close to Biden? He wants his advice as much as he wants Ben Shapiro’s.
Harris was supposed to be the person who settled the boundary. Instead, things got more complicated than ever. She was tasked with lobbying for the right to vote and delivered an urgent Martin Luther King Jr. Day speech in which she claimed that voting rights were under attack “in Georgia and throughout our country.” Yet Georgia and our nation ignored it, because Georgia and Arizona can make their own state voting laws, no matter how many insane Beltway bloviation problems. When she was sent to France to smooth things over with Emmanuel Macron, who is annoyed with the United States because we put them out of business to sell submarines to Australia, Macron didn’t step by step to respond a reporter who asked if he had forgiven the United States.
While her list of accomplishments as vice president remains a blank sheet of paper, her speeches have at least, in dark times, been consistently hilarious. This is Kamala on his administration’s wonderful COVID strategywho succeeded in only 150% of deaths under the previous administration: “It is time for us to do what we have done. And this moment is every day.
Kamala’s Ukrainian explainer: “So Ukraine is a country in Europe. It exists alongside another country called Russia. Russia is a bigger country. Russia is a powerful country. Russia has decided to invade a small country called Ukraine. So basically it’s wrong. Kamala on the cosmos: “Space is exciting. It stimulates our imagination and forces us to ask ourselves big questions. Space concerns us all and connects us all. Sources say Harris managed to say that without being anywhere near a bang.
While Harris’ approval ratings have been tougher with audiences than ‘Morbius’ at the box office, she fired ‘soul-destroying reviews’ at every staff member who let her go on to say stupid things.
Perhaps as a result, Harris has already lost his senior spokesperson, communications director, deputy press secretary, deputy chief of staff and national security adviser. This month, Harris’ top aide, Chief of Staff Tina Flournoy, resigned after barely a year on the job, making a total of 12 people who left their positions under Harris as veeps. Harris is so toxic she even managed to knock Jill Biden out. After Harris sued Joe Biden in a debate, Jill suggested Harris go have sex, but not in those words. Then, when the prospect of choosing Harris as a running mate arose, the future first lady said, “There are millions of people in the United States. Why do we have to choose the one who attacked Joe?
Answer: Because Joe had cornered himself swearing to choose a woman of color, which, given the demographic makeup of the political class (out of 150 senators and governors, only five were women of color), was like going at Ruth’s Chris Steak House and ask for the vegan menu. If she ever makes it to the presidency, it will be because Biden can’t finish his term, not because America wants her there.
Harris came to power with such enthusiasm that her fans expected a feminist Kamalot. Instead, they got Kam-a-little: the kind of veep that makes Walter Mondale feel like it belongs on Mount Rushmore.
Kyle Smith is general reviewer at National Review.